forgive me for reliving things from last year...

place des vosges

I just realized that it is halloween tomorrow a couple of hours ago. Needless to say, the whole preparation part of halloween has totally passed my by, and I realized how much of the season I have missed! Only today when I was in Place des Vosges (an old square where among other people, Victor Hugo used to live) and saw beautiful fall leaves, and some yellow trees and some barren trees, and heard a wonderful street violinist playing Bach, or some kind of baroque composer, and felt the coldness creep on to my hands and my face, as I looked at a fountain, did I almost start crying with the beauty of the whole thing, and realize how much I really like fall, and how I am quite sad that I don't get to dress up this year and go dancing.

I suppose I could, there are probably plenty of clubs here that I could put on a costume and go dancing, but it would probably not be very funny, and I would probably just get grossed out. I got pretty grossed out last year because although I expected all of the slutty girls, there were so many boys who were not wearing pants. And I was in Provo. And it was gross.

I took a nap tonight because I have been so tired the past couple of days. I think it was just that one art history midterm that sucked away all of my energy. After I woke up from my nap, I all of the sudden remembered that there is a particular fall smell that I have not smelled here. Somehow mixed with pumpkin and leather and cold air and apples and dead leaves. And I remembered a little over a year ago when I was in Oregon, and my sister Cami and my cousin Kate and I went in search for our favorite apple orchard in Eugene that grew probably twenty different kinds of apples. We drove around, listening to fall music, and enjoying being away from school and responsibilities, and the only stress included making all of my mother's most delicious recipes for my sister Jess' mission farewell open house. It ended up that the crazy man who owned our favorite orchard, chopped down all of his trees at the end of the previous season. Who does that? Anyway, we found another orchard, where the apples weren't the type my mom needed for enormous caramel apples dripping with chocolate and caramel and nuts and coconut, but it was smaller and organic, and we bought a lot of apples from her, and walked through her orchard and felt the crisp, cool air, and smelled her small wooden shed where she stored apples and dust and we bought delicious delicious apple cider. The rich, dark apple cider that tastes like you're drinking apples. And then we drove away from her small little shed and old orchard, and big random items made of old wood, like huge wheels and other things that just build up when you have huge plots of land and generations of build-up.

I was also a dog for halloween last year. Possibly my favorite costume of all time. Definitely the most fun. I just got to do one of my favorite things--pretend like Ellie.

These things include sniffing, barking, whining, huffing, nuzzling, and shaking my leg while being scratched on my stomach that I covered with a round piece of white paper. I put my hair really high on my head like ears, and wore mittens for paws. I also colored half of my face brown with one of my markers. I scrubbed my face the next day with soap, and it still didn't come off. Only with using about half of Heidi's bottle of make-up remover did it come off. But I was so proud of myself for finding an animal that I could be and bypass the whole disgusting animal-turned-sexy costume. No one ever dresses up like a sexy dog. But really, right? I think if I dressed up this year, I would be a pidgeon. Not quite sure how, but definitely one with a limp and a messed up foot, and stepped on, and just pecking and eating all over the place. Both my sisters Lauren and Cami were dressed up as nerds. They were funny. I think my family is way too good at acting like nerds. But each in our own, uniquely awkward way.

And I miss massive amounts of candy. I can't figure out a way to get massive amounts of candy here without buying it. Last year, we had a halloween dance for our ward, where I dressed up as a tree with tons of leaves all over myself, and then Heidi and I both stole enormous bowls of candy. We figured it was okay because our other roommate Katie was the activities director so it was basically her candy anyway, right? It was gone the next day. And I miss carving pumpkins with my mom, who ended up carving pumpkins by herself last year because Rachel was so busy. I carved pumpkins about two weeks before halloween last year because an apartment of boys invited our apartment over to carve pumpkins. I took a picture of Sara Smith's face and printed it out and carved that on to my pumpkin. Before halloween even arrived, we took the screen out of our window in the living room so Sara could throw her rotting pumpkin out the window. A few days later, I held her pillow out that window, threatening to drop it if she didn't stop sabotaging me while I showered--aka pouring ice and water on me, forcing me to scream, "yes, Sara! You are the Alpha!" and then turning out the light before relocking the door with a butter knife behind her and laughing like a creeper.

That's all. I am just thinking about last year. But today was a beautiful day as well. Just no free candy tomorrow.

Happy Halloween!